British Broadcasting Corporation

Page last updated at 10:56 GMT, Sunday, 22 November 2008

Riots cripple European nations

LONDON, England (Rita Skeeter) - Thanks to the UK protection of BBC buildings, news can still be published directly from the most stricken areas. Londoners are still roaming the streets in search for more food to hoard, but sinc most of the supermarkets are now empty and the food storages rest under armed protection, public action is mainly directed towards the governmental buildings.

EU governments, in the meantime, have worked feverishly to create a working Emergency Food committee, handing out food packets to every person capable of proving that they, in fact, are not in posession of enough food to sustain themselves for longer than two weeks. This, however, has led to people hiding food to their best ability so as they can lay claim on more.


In Holland, the situation has abated slightly since the publication of the famed "Tulip Bulb Cookbook for Beginners". Food storages are still emptying with frightening speed, but the rioters seem to be staying at home.

Disturbing reports from Africa have finally reached the European mainland. Apparently, the disease has almost spread as far as Etheopia and Somalia. In all African nations, not in posession of the superior European system of food storage, people are running out of nutrition hard an fast. African nations have issued a cry for help to the international community.

Will the African population survive the coming winter?

Transsylvania in disarray
SNAGOV, Romania - The thick depressing fog recently seen in Scotland has now also been sighted in Transsylvana. A neuro-toxin has been briefly considered as a possible explanation, but chemics have now ruled this out as an impossibility. Transsylvanian citizens have fled their country in terror, thinking that Count Dracula might have returned.

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