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Page last updated at 11:45 GMT, Saturday, 22 November 2008

BJET STILL SPREADING

KYOTO, Japan (Hattori Hanzo) - Reports of a truly disastrous nature have reached Kyoto. BJET is still spreading at an almost inconceivable rate, and various sources fear that, the way it is going now, the disease might very well spread past the immense border of China.

Meanwhile, in Japan, the disease can no longer be contained. Desperate people are roaming the streets of Kyoto, with no way of getting anywhere. Rumor has it that Emperor Akihito has claimed the batches of antidote for the government, which resulted to further riots and an attack on the governmental buildings. There is no longer a police force, since the officers themselves are also fearing contamination.

Japanese biologists have finally come to a breakthrough - apparently, the bacteria cannot spread through desalinated water. All desalination devices already in use have been adapted to produce more "safe" water, and all technical engineers of Japan have been feverishly working on the creation of more of similar devices.

Map

However, Japan implores the world to send more help - the current desalination programme is not sufficient even to ensure the safety of Hokkaido.

This will be, until further notice, the last report to come from Japan. The team of journalists still residing here will be airlifted out at 13:00 hours, this saturday.



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